Weddings have the strangest effect on people. There's something so magical to human beings about them. It's that age old occasion where masses of people come together to celebrate the union of (traditionally) a man and a woman who's love has transcended all others and have come together to commit to a lifetime of help, support, and unconditional love.
The effect these special days have on people come in all sorts and sizes, but no one ends up not effected in some way by the end of the day. Couples who attend usually think about the potential they have with their signifiant other. Singles who attend, whether content or not, end up thinking about who they will potentially marry and where they are at the moment. Married couples probably remember the good times they had when they got married themselves, and hopefully recommit to that love (I have never been in this position, so I don't actually know).
I know that for me personally, these last weeks since Benton and Kim Trerise's wedding have been very thought provoking in many ways. I've been so happy for them! These two have been a couple ever since I met them, and really, it was about time! But with any wedding, I started thinking about my own life, where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.
These are the conclusions I have come to.
First off, I'm only 21 (22 tomorrow). Being single, as discontent as I can be about it, is FINE. I am really really young still, and I have a lot to experience and learn on my own before I get tied down, especially living and working in Hollywood. I am nowhere near ready to get married. Nowhere! Me being me, I know if I got married young, I might feel like I'm missing out on things. That, and I'm not mature enough. I'm such a child about many things. Yes, I've gotten better, but that still stands. I still have a lot of growing up to do before I'm ready to be the head of a household. Seriously. Also, I don't make enough money to support myself, let alone more than that. And my lifestyle is sporadic! I work, eat, sleep, hang out with friends. I barely have time to do all that. I mean, obviously things will change when I get married, but you all know what I mean.
When I discuss these things, it's mostly me reassuring myself that God does in fact have a plan for my dating and married life. For some reason its the area I have the most trouble in trusting God for. I guess it's been so "here and there" throughout my life, I just want to know when the next chapter starts. Or maybe it already has! I'll admit, sometimes I'll look at the passenger seat of my car or the left side of my bed and wonder who will one day fill it. I wonder it more times a week than I'd care to admit. Being with somebody is built into us. After all, God did create Eve because Adam was lonely, and God didn't like that in the least bit. So in those times that I do feel lonely, I don't feel bad about it, because I know that it's a God given feeling. But I trust Him. If He is aware enough to give Adam Eve, then I know He's waiting for the right time, the right moment to reveal who my "one" is. Maybe I have to date other girls before I find her or maybe she's the next girl. Maybe she's a close friend. Maybe she's a girl I know but don't talk to a lot. Or maybe I have yet to meet her. I have no idea. But what I do know is I want to become the best man I can, spiritually, physically, financially, and in leadership.
So bring it on life. Bring it. I'll be ready when the time comes.
Also, can I just say that I'm REALLY glad God is in charge and not me?
