The Horror Genre, and Why I Love It.

I am new to the horror movie genre. Well, relatively. I've only been watching them for about a year now. Before then, I couldn't get into them. As a child, I would be scared easily and I couldn't handle pretty much anything scary whatsoever. But as I grew up, I started watching more and more thrillers, so I learned how to handle things that can get into your head and freak you out more and more. But there is a difference between thrillers and horror, so why suddenly the change of heart?

Well, I can honestly say it started with the show 'Supernatural'. They deal with a lot of things that are on the more freaky side. I first tried the series when I was at Ecola Bible School, and the show made me feel uncomfortable, as if I was committing some sort of sin by watching the show. After all, generally shows that involve demons usually aren't' smiled upon by Christians. When I came back to the show a year later, I was in film school, and things were different. I was more into the art of filmmaking. I had matured to the point where I was able to watch it and separate the art from the content. But I still found the content really cool. Why? Because the show depicts spiritual warfare! Spiritual warfare is something many Christians shy away from. I feel like we don't think about the spiritual battles being waged around us constantly. Supernatural, while not Biblically sound, was able to physicalize a spiritual battleground, which I find fascinating. In fact, it grew my faith in that I thought about the battles being waged around me. I grew aware of them. Which, I think is a good thing, especially living in Hollywood, where there is much evil that people are unaware of.

Then, I befriended Scott Derrickson, last year, who directed Sinister. Sinister was the first horror film that I saw in theaters. It was then I understood. Good cerebral horror movies know how to scare you. Not GORE movies. I hate gore movies. They put themselves under the horror genre, but I really don't think they belong there.

I walked out of Sinister with a new interest: Why do horror movies scare us? It's something I love figuring out. I really love the feeling of being scared. But why do these movies scare us? What filmmaking tactics are most effective and most well received? It's fascinating! Beyond that, what are the subconscious tactics they use? I have a lot of fears in my life, fears of the future mostly, which causes anxiety, etc. But with horror movies, I know exactly what's scaring me. It's right there on the screen and in the soundtrack. I love figuring out why the good horrors are good and the bad horrors are bad. It's a lot of fun! The feeling of not knowing what is going to happen next is one of the most thrilling things I've ever experienced. But the difference between not knowing what is going to happen next in a movie, and not knowing what is going to happen next in life is that you know the movie will be over in 2 hours. Life is more scary because you don't know when things will be resolved. I like things in life to be resolved, so when they aren't quickly, I hate it. But with movies, they take us out of the real world, scare us for two hours, then throw us back out. It's also the throwing us back out that is interesting to me too. Horror movies don't keep me up at night, but they do make me think.

Horrors usually have something to do with killers or ghosts or monsters, or all three. Killers and monsters don't have an overall effect on me, unless the monsters are demons, because I know demons are real. So it leaves ghosts (and demons). Those are the ones that scare me most. They scare me because I don't understand them, yet I know they are both real to either some extent (ghosts) or to a long extent (demons). These movies make me think about the spiritual world like no other genre can do. That's a major reason I love these movies. For me, God has used them in my life to make me more aware of the battles that are raging around us, the battles we can't see.

And, it has made me more aware of the incredible Godly protection I am under. And I love that.

Grabbing Life By The Horns.

Last night, I saw The Spectacular Now, and I must say, I loved it. It brought back all of the nostalgia of high school and why I actually enjoyed myself for the most part during those 4 years. It also brought back the nostalgia of that first long intensive high school romance that so many of us experience. This movie brought back all the good memories of growing up. Lately, I've been focusing on the bad memories, as if they were the only ones to shape who I am. I don't know why, it was a phase. But after seeing this movie, along with other factors recently, I'm starting to remember the positive things too.

We are all molded by the events of our lives. I am a Christian, so I also believe in prayer, The power of the Bible, and God's control of our lives if we give it up to Him. Since my sophomore year of high school, I have been actively pursuing a solid relationship with Jesus. I know that may sound weird to non-Christians, but I can tell you, it's as real as any other friendship or relationship. In fact it's the deepest I've ever known. I ask God every day to make me into the man he wants me to be, to guide me through this life, to allow me to make the decisions necessary to be the man He wants me to be. I desire to have an effect on this world for the positive, so I ask Him constantly to build that within me. And he has. And is. And is continuing to. But what does that mean? I don't know exactly. but I feel that I am nearing the end of my time growing into manhood. I still feel like a kid in so many ways, but I am growing so close to the point where I will stop growing up into manhood and start expanding on who I am as a man. The foundation has been built, now its time to use that foundation to start framing the walls.

Since I believe my life is being guided by a higher power, I can look back on my life to gain some perspective on where I am going in life. I was raised in a solid family, and I am very committed to my family. Plus, when I fall for girls, I fall pretty hard. I don't just fall for anyone. In fact, I have crushes very sparingly. So I know that whatever serious relationships, and eventually family, that I have, I'll be all in and fully committed. I also know that I get very passionate about what I do career-wise. I want to change the world for good, and I've never been afraid to dream bigger than what seems to be attainable. I had a dream to go to film school, then move to Hollywood, and start gaining connections in the film business. Seems crazy right? Well, here I am. So i've decided to dream big again. I want to create my own production company, one that would have multiple areas of operations, namely LA and Portland. There's so much untapped potential in Portland and in Oregon as a whole, and I want to tap into that! In the short run, I want to start creating cheap quality short films, so I'm going to take up writing. I never thought I'd ever return to writing, but it's a skill I want to refine and use to my advantage. I want to be as valuable to this industry as possible. Thirdly, I also seem to have learned to be an influence on friends, to be able to help them out in any way I can. I love helping people, and I hope to somehow keep applying that to helping people in need, and to helping my friends be all that they can be as well. I don't want to be in this industry for strictly myself, I believe we all have to stick together and help each other through. So many people have enemies in this town, and it's only a matter of time before I do too, but I don't want enemies. I want allies and friends.

I have been incredibly blessed. I have had rough times to teach me to love the good times, and I certainly have good times as well. We all have to learn to look back in order to build upon who we are becoming as people. It's time for me to take control of my future and who I'm growing to be and actively grow. I'm tired of waiting for life to come to me. I'm going to go and grab it by the horns for myself.

And I ask God to guide me to the right bulls.